


Failed Attempt

by ShaggyMadi



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, Hospitalization, Kinda a rushed ending I'm sorry, Kissing, M/M, PURE TRUE LOVE, Suicide Attempt, TOM IS OUR SAVIOR HALLELUJAH, Will I ever give these four a break?, help me plz, nope - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-15 22:24:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12330084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShaggyMadi/pseuds/ShaggyMadi
Summary: Tord try's to commit suicide, but a certain Jehovas Witness saves him...OrTord finally gives up, and Tom finally realizes





	Failed Attempt

**Author's Note:**

> So this prompt was floating in my head for a while so I thought, Pffff- Post it!  
> It's not very good and pretty short but I hope you all enjoy it!

'I want to die'

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I listened to the dull hum of the ceiling fan as it spun around and around, pushing cool air against my face and making my hair sway slightly.

'Deep breaths' I thought. I breathed in and out, in and out.

I raised my arm up to the ceiling, the bad one. I stared at the burnt skin, a constant reminder of the pain that I've caused, of the monster that I am.

I felt my chest grow tight and my eyes sting with tears. 'Why?' I pondered. 'Why did they just forgive me?! Just like that?!'

I rubbed my good arm roughly across my face, wiping away the tears. 'I can't cry!'

Both my arms went down, falling at my sides. 'I don't deserve to cry, I don't deserve to sit here, feeling sorry for myself, after all I've done'

I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I turn and begin to dig in my nightstand, looking for the thing that will end all of this pain.

'I deserve-'

My hands clasp around the cool metal and I bring it out of the nightstand.

'-to die'

A gun, my very favorite. Like Tom named his bass Susan, I named my favorite gun Jenny. I held Jenny in my hands tightly, she was my first gun, and now, she'll be my last.

It was just a simple 25. pistol, but it would be enough.

I opened the chamber and reached in the nightstand again to pull out a single bullet.

I loaded it into her chamber and closed it, raising the gun to my head, angling it perfectly so it would hit my frontal lobe. A direct hit, and a direct kill.

I took a deep breath, I was never one for last words or anything, so I wouldn't bother.

No one was home, it was just me.

There would be no suicide note, just me.

As it had always been, 

Just.

Me.

I took one last deep breath, knowing it would be my last, closed my eyes and pulled the trigger.

BANG!  
\------------------------------------------

My eyes shot open and see white, blinding white.

Is this the afterlife? Shouldn't I be in hell?

I lift my head and look down at myself.

I'm laying down in a cot with white sheets pulled up to my arm pits. My hands are laying on my sides and raise a hand to my forehead.

No bullet hole. Just something rough around my head. 

I lower my hand to my neck and give it a harsh pinch.

I hiss in pain and let go. Pain. So I'm alive.

I look around the room and see it's a hospital room. Or that was just my guess since it looked like a hospital room.

So the thing wrapped around my head must be a bandage.

And I DID fail.

...

Well, shit.

But how did I get here? How did I fail?

My train of thought is cut off by the door opening and someone stepping in.

I quickly let my head fall back onto the pillow and close my eyes.

"He's still asleep..."

"Tom, when will he wake up?"

"Better be soon because I want answers!"

Edd, Matt and Tom. Why were they here? Why was I here? Why am I not dead?!

"Tom I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this!"

"To hell with that! The guy nearly killed himself!"

"Tom!"

"If I hadn't gone back for my keys..."

My felt my heart drop, I had been saved.

By Tom.

Why can't the world just let me die! I've been in battle a million times and never killed, all the assassinations and betrayals failed, I didn't even die in a robot crash! And I can't even take my own life! What the hell?! Is this some sort of punishment for what I've done!?

I needed to punch something, or cry, or hug someone, or all three.

'I don't want to face them, I'm going to continue to pretend I'm sleeping' I was actually very uncomfortable laying on my back and wanted to roll to my side, but was afraid of being caught and being forced to confront my friends. 

'People move around in their sleep right?' But before I could even consider moving I felt a hand grasp mine. 'Well fuck.'

I'm guessing it's Edd, he always was the affectionate one out of us. 

"I just...I want him to be okay..." Toms voice rang out clear as a bell, but I couldn't believe it. Did Tom care about me more than he let on? Just like I did? Impossible. Someone like me...

But the other thing I was focused on was that his voice was right next to me, and as he spoke I felt the grip on my hand tighten. Was Tom the one holding my hand?

"Okay Tom, me and Matt are gonna go away for a while...Take care and we'll get you when visiting hours are over, okay?"

"...Yeah that's fine"

"Okay, come on Matt..."

As I heard them leave I could hear Matt's oblivious question, 

"Will Tord be okay?" 

And Edd's unsure but honest answer, 

"I don't know Matt..."

A bit of time passed in silence with the only thing I could focus on was Toms thumb rubbing slow circles on my hand and the low hum of the machines.

I felt a hand reach up to brush hair away from my face, which was good because that was really starting to tickle, and rest on my cheek.

'Tom is a lot more gentle then he lets on...'

"You bastard"

'Aaaand he's back'

"Why? Why did you do that?"

I small weight settled on my chest as the hand left my face and I assumed that Tom was resting his head on my chest.

I struggled to push my feelings aside, to ignore the dull ache in my chest and the voice screaming to comfort the black eyed man. 

"I love you Tord...and I just want you to be okay"

With those words I felt my resolve break and that voice in my head won over.

I raised a hand and ran it through his hair gently.

He lifted his head and I saw tears gathering in his non-existent eyes, a small blush coating his cheeks and his mouth agape.

"T-Tord?"

I opened my mouth and let out a dull croak.

"I love you too Tom"

With that he leaned forward and kissed my lips and let out a small sob into it.

I kissed back with what strength I had and pulled away after a few moments.

"I'm sorry Tom"

His face turned a bit more angry and tears ran down his cheeks.

"You better be you stupid commie! You almost died and now I'm here crying like a baby!"

I chuckled and held his hand. 

"You said it, not me"

He hugged me and crawled onto the bed, cuddling me.

"Please...don't ever do that again..."

I smiled and kissed his forehead. 

"I won't Tom"

'Because now, you have given me a reason to live'

**Author's Note:**

> That ending was rushed sorry I ran out of ideas and it was late at night my bad lol  
> *sips Fanta*


End file.
